I love my job. But if I were asked what the most challenging aspect of my role as a nursing faculty member is, I would point to the periodic salvo of stressful and annoying interactions with students and colleagues that dampens my productivity and makes me feel disrespected. Consider these scenarios: A student throws a tantrum over a randomly assigned exam seat; another disrupts a remote class by inciting peers in the chat box for bonus points mid-lecture; a faculty member walks out disrespectfully during a team-taught session; another frequently interrupts others mid-sentence; a faculty member flossing their teeth in the middle of a meeting; and a student watching a boxing match during class. During the pandemic, a New York Times article highlighted an increase in rudeness. This surge in incivility—both in academia and society—could be the overlooked consequence of the pandemic and a broader global challenge we all face. Or perhaps it reveals a deeper, more pervasive lack of emotional intelligence.
We don’t nurse by I.Q alone
The science of emotional intelligence (EI) was popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman in the mid-1990s, through his influential book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Goleman’s work built on earlier research by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, who initially coined the term “emotional intelligence” in a 1990 academic paper. Their research focused on how emotional skills can be just as important as traditional cognitive abilities in personal and professional success. In nursing, the renewed emphasis on EI is influenced by the association of higher nurse burnout and lower EI.
EI refers to the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence one’s own emotions and the emotions of others. This involves key skills such as emotional awareness, empathy, self-regulation, and relationship management —fundamental elements for a successful and fulfilling nursing career, as well as overall well-being. Individuals with high EI are more adept at managing stress, navigating social complexities, and making informed decisions.
However, EI remains insufficiently integrated into nursing education. This lack of curricular emphasis may reflect academia’s overemphasis on technical skills over relational competencies, such as marshaling positive emotions and basic civility, performing simple acts like enabling one’s video during remote meetings, practicing basic politeness, and truly listening. The American Association of Colleges of Nursing (AACN) recognized this gap by including EI as a core competency in the 2021 Essentials, within the domains of professional identity and communication.
Can EI be taught?
“Calm down” is a common imperative heard at a tense bedside, directed at patients, visitors, or even staff. On one occasion, I heard a patient anxiously responded with, “How?” leaving the nurse dumbfounded before walking away. In contrast, I witnessed a respiratory therapist calmly lock hands with a panic-stricken patient, softly saying, “Look at me. We’ll take deep breaths, slowly together.” This illustrates that social-emotional learning can indeed be taught, but it’s most effective when introduced early in life. Research indicates that EI positively predicts academic success. Although IQ scores may relate to cognitive abilities, it’s mastery and awareness of one’s emotional state that are most crucial for achieving success both professionally and personally. Perhaps the challenge with teaching college students is that they might come to us with an already well-established mindset. In academia, we frequently focus on imparting knowledge, but what truly matters in many life situations is knowing and managing the self. Maybe this is because teaching the care plan is much easier than shaping students to be conscientious caregivers.
We have the tools and technology to teach EI. I know of one nurse residency program that has incorporated a series of workshops on narrative medicine. The aim is to support the novice nurses’ narrative competency, to grasp the patient’s story and cultivate empathy and self-care. AI, when leveraged with the right prompts, can serve as a powerful tool to guide nurses through crucial conversations and refine their bedside manner (for those in academia, faculty meeting manners). Go ahead, ask ChatGPT: How should I behave in faculty meetings? Faculty development training in EI is sorely needed to enhance productivity and cultivate prosocial behaviors.
A literature review on EI and nursing education reported that students or healthcare professionals with high EI are more efficient, manage stress and emotions more effectively, enjoy better health, and foster stronger relationships with patients, families, and healthcare teams compared to those with lower EI. That’s reason enough to teach EI in every nursing course.
EI is learned and learnable at any point in life. In the past couple of semesters, I invited facilitators from New York University’s Listening Lab to conduct a brief but impactful interactive workshop on how to truly listen. We can re-learn how to make people feel heard and connected.
Aspiring to be emotionally intelligent
Academic work is inherently aspirational. I believe that anyone can possess the intellectual capacity to become a nurse, but it’s EI that distinguishes the truly exceptional ones. I want to imagine that nurses of influence inspire others to be emotionally intelligent. To paraphrase New York Times opinion writer Jennifer Finney Boylan, I recognize that I will inevitably encounter students and colleagues who lack EI, people who are mean, unkind, and uncivil. But I shall not lose faith and aspire to greater self-awareness that in treating others with EI, all of us have a shot at becoming a better person.
Fidelindo Lim, DNP, CCRN, FAAN is a Clinical Associate Professor at New York University Meyers College of Nursing
